This week I found out that I am allergic to all dairy, wheat, gluten, eggs and almonds. That one little blood test banished the mystery behind a lifetime of chronic illness. Adjusting to this is been difficult, and it affects me in ways I wouldn’t have expected. Food is a fundamental and emotional part of our lives. It wasn’t real for almost two days. I spent a lot of that second day crying or on the edge of tears. The world seemed somehow surreal, like it wasn’t the same world from just two days before. Slowly, I’m becoming more solid in this new world. Here are a few lessons that have been helpful in dealing with this change.
1. Acknowledge your feelings
A major life change comes with many emotions. If you allow yourself to feel these emotions, you may be able to work your way through them more quickly. When I found out I wasn’t going to be able to enjoy my favorite treat foods anymore, I tried to force myself to be okay and stay perky. It worked somewhat, but it was a fragile perkiness. It wasn’t until I let myself mourn the loss that I began to feel solid in my positive moods again.
2. Remember the positive
Most of the upheavals in life do have some positive sides to them. It can be helpful to remember these when life’s changes have you down. Sometimes you may have to brainstorm to find the positive, but unless your change is finding cancer or the death of a loved one, it should be there. In my case, I lost the tasty foods I loved, but I also lose the irritable bowels, the frequent mouth sores and possibly the migraines.
3. Find support
In times of turmoil, the support of your friends can be invaluable. You may be able to find a support group related to the changes in your life. You may already know someone who has been through something similar. Even just a shoulder to cry on can refresh your spirit and remind you that you aren’t alone in facing this. Amy was my shoulder to cry on, and my friend Alexis was able to give me a lot of helpful advice. Her husband has celiac, so she has been working around similar dietary restrictions for years.
4. Look at alternatives before giving up
When life denies you something, look at alternatives before giving up entirely. You may someday find satisfaction in teaching the skill you once practiced, or may learn to practice that skill in a new way. Or perhaps you can just press on despite what life may do to you. Going blind did not stop Monet from painting, nor did deafness stop Beethoven from composing. I discovered that there are ice creams that have all the taste and texture of real ice cream. Sadly, I’ve found no acceptable pasta alternative yet.
5. Find perspective, spiritual or otherwise.
Remember that even the very wise cannot see all ends. Or as some say, God works in mysterious ways. There may be a purpose behind the challenges you face now, and they may be revealed in the future. Perhaps losing a job will lead to a better one, or a change of career that you have wanted to pursue. Finding my food allergens may help me lose weight or reduce my risk for cancer.
Whatever it is that you’re facing in life, I hope you find what works for you to help you through.
